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striving for best ex wife ever

If one can’t be the best wife ever…one can aspire to be the best ex-wife ever.

When I met Michael I knew I wanted him to be part of my family. If you know him, you know why. He’s an incredible guy and a terrific Dad. I am so grateful. Of course we have a whole history that is private. That is tragic. But unbelievably, we’ve come through the other side as loving supportive respectful co-parents who genuinely like each other.Nora Christmas 2006 pjs guitar looking down

It could have gone another way. We could have easily decided to hold a grudge and feel justified in doing so. We could have easily made life miserable for each other and built up a resentment. We could rally troops and ask friends to take sides. We could have taken each other to court. We could have lost thousands and thousands of dollars and we could make our daughter’s life a living hell. We chose, instead, to clear the air, to be fair, to miraculously forgive.

One of the wisest things ever said to me was from Morris Ertman. He married us. He has known me since I was eighteen. He has directed several of my plays. I drove fourteen hours to have a conversation with him about all this. He reminded me that I made a vow to love, honour and respect. Sometimes the best way to love, honour and respect someone is to not live together. But I made a vow, and I must keep it.

And so, when I come across a moment to celebrate Michael, I do. When I come across a time I can support him, I do. When I come across something that drives me f$%*&king BANANAS I blow it off. He does the same.

This is verging on too personal, this post. But I felt compelled to write it because some of you are in the throws of separation and divorce and I want to tell you, you made a vow. I want to tell you, it is possible to be friends on the other side of it all. Of course it takes two…but it’s possible. I want to tell you…just because things don’t turn out all conventional doesn’t mean they aren’t “right”. It dawned on me today that we haven’t ended up with a failure.

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  1. Charlotte

    Thank you for sharing this and encouraging many with your wise words.
    Bless you!

    1. Lucia Frangione

      xo Charlotte

    2. Lucia Frangione

      Hello dear Charlotte. You wrote this morning asking about apple cider, but I erased my post about the cat because it wasn’t good writing, I had nothing to say. Too tired! haha. A half a cup of apple cider in the wash with the detergent helps eliminated cat pee odor. I found it worked very well. Cheers!

  2. Cathy

    Your message is meaningful and timely. There is no easy way to do this except to find a way to forgive and heal, for our kids and ourselves. You are a wonderful role model. I feel as though your message was meant for me this morning so Ill take it.Thank you for sharing….xoxo

  3. Sonia Rymkiewicz

    Lucia
    That was so wonderfully written. Xoxo Sonia

    1. Lucia Frangione

      Thank you, dear Sonia! How lovely to hear from you! xoxo

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