Lucia Frangione

I should really get to bed but this Valentine’s Day feels a bit like Christmas. And it isn’t just the sugar rush. I am excited to greet tomorrow. I keep thinking of people in my life I absolutely love. There are so many. This recounting started as part of my remembrance – yesterday – thinking about how many dear friends came to our side during hard times. But I think it was making all those damn cookies that did it. Nora made cards for everyone in her class and I baked over fifty sugar hearts. After she went to bed,…

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Dear daughter, Six years ago today you were born. Six years old. That would be grade one. You’d be printing out your letters and sounding our your words, counting on your fingers and hoping for a treat in your lunch kit. You’d be tagging behind your big sister out on the playground and asking for a push. You’d be squabbling over toys and breaking off the ends of Nora’s pencils and teasing the cat. You’d be asking to walk the dog, you’d be falling on your skates, you’d be drawing stars beside your name: “Stella. Stella. Stella for star.” My…

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The Jane Austen Marriage manual does not start with the four Bs of love: 1) beer 2) back rub 3) barbecue 4) blowjob. No, the Jane Austen Marriage Manual’s quote on the back says something akin to “for every woman who wishes a Mr Darcy would sweep them off their feet and pay for all their credit cards.” The Jane Austen Marriage Manuel is for women who have no IDEA how to be married, will never BE married, or are about to be DIVORCED.  I am sad to see this drivel on my Texan in Yaletown’s shelf today as I…

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Michael picks me up in his new red car. We’re headed to a Giants game to watch our daughter dance in a pink shirt day “flash mob” at half time. The line up for the parking lot at the Pacific Colosseum is huge so he deaks into a side street and senior citizens are lined up along the sidewalk waving their arms. This behaviour is all new to me. My first thought, “Is the Handy Bus late? Do they need a ride?” He rolls down his window and a tiny grim faced grey haired Asian woman in a puff jacket…

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Today I am thinking about the Brontosaurus. It was discovered during the “bone wars”: a palaeontological pissing contest in the late 1860s between Americans: Edward Drinker Cope and Othniel Charles Marsh. They were in a big rush to criticize each other in scientific mags and best each other in the race to discover the most species. Cope accused Marsh of moving bones in New Jersey and all sorts of drama. Anyway, in 1877, Marsh published incomplete findings of a dinosaur he named the Apatosaurus. In 1879 he published a sketch of this vertebrae. The Apatosaurus was about 50 ft long….

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“I feel so anxious. What if I shouldn’t behave properly? You know i never had tea at a manse before, and I’m not sure that I know all the rules of etiquette, although I’ve been studying the rules given in the Etiquette Department of the Family Herald ever since I came here. I’m so afraid I’ll do something silly or forget to do something I should do. Would it be good manners to take a second helping of anything if you wanted to VERY much?” “The trouble with you, Anne, is that you’re thinking too much about yourself. You should…

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I have been too busy this week to even write my stories. That means I’ve been too busy to be healthy. Michael’s doing two plays back to back, performances and rehearsals day and night. So I get Nora full time plus I will have the dog and cat and my house guest and my seven jobs. And a few days ago another kid gave Nora lice again after being clear for so long…so I’ve been nitpicking and doing heaps of wash… Today it came to a head. I auditioned for something I really wanted. Great director, one of my most…

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my story today comes on video, courtesy of the Frank Theatre company.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMhTes-NtZc

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I bike with no gloves because I want to feel the cold today. I want to feel all tough mudder despite the fact my helmet is a pink cheetah pattern – admit it – you want it. Crossfit Charlie is wearing off on me. You should see what I can “snatch”. This morning I am an actor, this afternoon I am a coach, this evening I am a script editor until eleven and now I’m a writer until one. And I haven’t returned a call. Nothing personal. They say, these days, it isn’t fashionable to be “busy”. Oh to be…

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I pick up Nora in the car with one of her best buddies in the back. ME: Nora, Bunny, I know we were rushed this morning but I need to apologize. I was a cow. I was a total cow this morning.” NODIN: Tell me about it! (agreeing with me) NORA: You were? It’s my fault I forgot about my homework. We stop off at Mikey’s to walk the dog and pick up some things. The sun is shining low and golden on Trout Lake park. Merchant and Ivory would approve. My old dog Tartuffe pulls on the leash to…

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