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45

The woman dressed like a dentist, sitting on a park bench while her daughter plays on the swing, the woman who is trying to not weep behind a tree so her daughter doesn’t see? That would be me. Happy birthday. I just got dumped. I’m forty five. At the stroke of midnight. And despite how it looks on the outside, I am doing just fine. Because unlike a few years ago where I would have wondered what’s wrong with me, this time I just thought, “What a dork, to pass up a woman like me.” So. Things are improving.

And the dentist thing is a callback. Because I rocked it.

imagesOn the way home I console my child who is very upset that no one has taken her shopping this year to get me something. Do I have the extra bucks to buy me something nice? I think so. I think I want a wooden cutting board. You know, the heavy kind. The kind you could whack someone over the head with and not kill them but make them pass out.

Friends are writing to me in despair over Palestine, over the plane that went down in Russia, over Rosebud and the unrest going on there. And I have no answers beyond the letter I wrote. I have no answers beyond, “There is wild uncontrollable evil in the world, just as there is wild uncontrollable grace.”

So, I just cry behind the tree because my chiropractor told me I need to stop holding grief. It’s giving me migraines. Don’t even get me started on the naturopath and my liver. And here I thought avoiding my sorrow and anger would make me more attractive.

Hello forty five. I’m gonna just be me. Why not?

I actually love the sound of that number. It sounds full of possibilities.

I had a good meeting today with the great John Cassini and he said I have a terrific face. “No one looks like you, Lucia”. I agree. And it gets more interesting with age. Now I have angles. I have lines. I have life etched into me.

My best friend has bought me flowers. I just got the call. So sweet. We take care of each other, eh? Us girls.

I’m forty five. I am going to get a wooden cutting board with my delighted little daughter. I have a great face. And I am fine being alone. I am also fine saying, “You know what? It’s time to have some fun.”

Who knows what the year will bring.

Photo on 2014-07-22 at 8.24 PM #4

 

 

 

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13 comments

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  1. Sarah Donald

    There is one more thing I would like to add to your list and that is fabulous and inspiring writer.
    Thank you so much for your posts that I enjoy so much!
    xoSarah

    1. Lucia Frangione

      awww thank you, dear Sarah! xo

  2. Leah

    bless you, my lovely, talented friend! Have a beautiful birthday that matches your beautiful heart! thank you for putting things into perspective. hugs and peace to you!!!

  3. Marketa Nykl

    You are a Leo, Lucia! Powerful, graceful an beautiful cat. Happy 45, i love your posts. Marketa

    1. Lucia Frangione

      aw thank you beautiful Marketa! xoxo

  4. Re

    I’m turning 45 in a couple of weeks. This one scares me a little–I can no longer say “I’m in my early forties.” Now I have to say, “I’m in my mid-forties.” Eep.

    But having said that, this place feels good. There’s something powerful about being old enough to not care about what people think any more.

    Happy Birthday, my friend! Thank you sharing.

    1. Lucia Frangione

      xo RC – I just keep hanging out with fifty year olds and I always feel young :) xo

  5. Catherine Lubinsky

    You’re a wonder! I love your writing!!! And yes, you have a great face among the other many great parts of you. Happy Birthday, Lucia!

    1. Lucia Frangione

      xo thank you, Catherine! :)

  6. Geezbo

    Happy birthday Lucia. Always thinking of you.

    1. Lucia Frangione

      not sure who this is…haha…but thank you!

      1. Geezbo

        You are welcome. I turn 45 next week. I enjoyed your story.

  7. Jacques Lalonde

    Lovely message. So glad Nora got you a present. What a sweetie… she was sad because she hadn’t gone shopping FOR YOU!!!…I was like that when i was a kid. Angles are good. So is heart. You will make a great dentist. My teeth feel cleaner already!

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